Monday's Energy Absurdity: Cornell Launches 'Respiration Chamber' to Measure Cow Burps and Farts
University officials assure us it is the 'gold standard' of fart chambers
Like manna from heaven, today’s Energy Absurdity dropped right into my lap this morning as I conducted my early morning news gathering. Life is just like that sometimes if you follow the rules.
New York local TV station WBNG Channel 12 News reports that researchers at Cornell University have built the nation’s first and only “animal respiration stall,” an enclosed housing for cows that will enable them to accurately measure the exact amount of methane they belch and fart into the environment. In other words, they have built a hermitically sealed fart chamber.
Naturally, the researchers assure us that it is a world class fart chamber, or as they describe it, the “gold standard” of fart chambers.
“The respiration chambers are considered to be the gold standard to monitor methane emissions from cows,” said Associate Professor of Dairy Cattle Biology Joseph McFadden. “There are a lot of untested methane mitigation and monitoring technologies out there. But the only way you can provide absolute quantification of gas emissions is by using a respiration chamber system.”
You all know what’s coming next, don’t you? Within a few years, either in a Biden second term or the first term of some other Democrat president, the EPA will issue regulations requiring farmers to measure emissions from their cattle herds and force them to use “gold standard” respiration chambers like this one as “the best available technology” to accomplish the task.
Many of you are no doubt scoffing at that as just a “conspiracy theory,” the kind of which I have posed and been proven 100% right about many times over the last 20 years or so. For all of you, I urge you to bookmark this piece and refer back to it when, in just a few years, the EPA publishes this exact regulation in the Federal Register.
Because that is what is coming. Remember: A conspiracy is not a ‘theory’ when it is standing in front of you slapping your stupid face.
That is all.
The gas respiration chamber could be a ground floor opportunity to make some real cash. Low cost of ownership, make them in China.
However, I am concerned about concentrating a dangerous gas on a cow's back. It violates a cow's rights and could be construed as a bovine microagression.
The cows that are able to roam and eat real grass, do not have stomach aches and fart constantly. The cows that are raised in factory farms and fed Round Up ready corn and soy (something they are not able to properly digest because it is unnatural for them) fart constantly. I know this from local farmers who have cattle that roam and eat real grass. Amen